The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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