so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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