So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
is that a dick in a sweater?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
