Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
