check it out our google latitudes are spooning
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
