I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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