she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
