thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
