Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
