She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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