girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
