Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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