idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
