Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
