Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
