Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
