he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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