i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
