Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
