areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
