Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
love makes seman taste better
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
