I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
