btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
