You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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