youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
third nipple confirmed
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I would ride that face into the sunset
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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