oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
