If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
