hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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