you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
