think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
