Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
