yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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