I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
