Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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