Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
