he shaved USA in his pubs
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
there was a trapeze. enough said
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
