don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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