New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
