Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
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