Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
