she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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