I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
