woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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