Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
