Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
