Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
