I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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