How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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