He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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