Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
