Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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