is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
