You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When are your genitals available?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
